It's complicated

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Dear Xmas,You were . So how come when I went to the post office today to drop off a couple of buckets of packages the post office was closed? I am going to have to re-date about 50 packages because . After that I went to get some beer. Guess what? . It's Monday, and some of us need to work and failing that, get drunk. But I bet if I was speeding I'd get a ticket, wouldn't I, Xmas? Before I was just bummed out because of you, Xmas. Now I am . Xmas, I am breaking up with you. If you call me again I'll call the police.,Jeffrey RowlandPS: I just noticed the Chav Bar* is open today. You're going to force me to go to the Chav Bar, aren't you Xmas?
*The bar right by my apartment where Chavs go to drink.

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